Ask Hazelpaw
by Shadowolf315
Summary: <html><head></head>Ask Hazelpaw or Shadowpaw or any Warrior, etc whatever you want just have fun! Reviews  questions  needed</html>
1. Chapter 1

**Staff members!**

**Shadowpaw~ Host small black she~cat with Dark purple eyes**

**Hazelpaw~ Co-Host small gray and white she~cat**

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><p>Ask any warriorapprentice/deputy/leader/medicine cat/elder/queen/kit any random question you want

We garuntee to answer (please include desired signature at the bottom ex: ~Shadowpaw)

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><p><strong>Rules!<strong>

**1.) Have fun!**

**2.) Put the warrior/apprentice/deputy/leader/medicine cat/elder/queen/kits name and question (duh you should know that silly us)**

**3.) No curse words (well it's being rated T so just have fun)**

**4.) Add signature**

**5.) Review questions so we can get started!**

**THANKS!**


	2. Chapter 2

Shadowpaw enters the stage, having Hazelpaw hand her a white slip. "Hello everyone i'm Shadowpaw and this is Hazelpaw" The black she~cat says gesturing to the small grey and white cat beside her. Murmurs swept from the cats in the crowd. "Why are we here?" a brown tom asked near the stage.

Shadowpaw growled. "If you let me get to that, you are here to answer some fans questions". Hazelpaw handed Shadowpaw another white slip of paper.

Shadowpaw stared at the paper for a few minutes then took the microphone in her paws and read.

"Our first question is from rox, her first question is for Firestar" Shadowpaw glanced up quickly. "Why do you suck so much?"

Laughter burst from the crowd, Firestar stood from the back row and padded to the stage. Shadowpaw handed him the microphone.

"Why do I suck so much?" Firestar repeated the question. "Why do YOU suck so much?"

Firestar quickly exited the stage receiving smug grins from some of the cats as he passed.

Shadowpaw still smiling looked back at the paper. "Her next question is for...Cinderheart" Shadowpaw glanced at the silver she~cat. "Why were you being stupid and break up with Lionblaze?"

Cinderheart sped up to the stage and grabbed the microphone from Shadowpaw. "I-I I COULDN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE" Cinderheart ran from the stage leaving a stream of tears behind her.

Shadowpaw picked up the now soak and wet microphone. "Now the next question is for Sandstorm" Shadowpaw quickly read. "Why are you mates with someone who sucks". Sandstorm looked at Firestar as she walked up to the stage and spoke. "'Cause I was forced don't you see, I would've ended up with Duststripe if that stupid kittypet didn't-" Sandstorm stared at Firestar as Dustpelt fist-pumped the air. Sandstorm shrunk down and speed-walk back to her chair.

Shadowpaw was gaping after her, she shook her head. "Anyway rox's next question is for Ferncloud and Daisy". "Why do you have so many kits". A cat in the back spoke up, "Because their-" Ferncloud and Daisy cut him off at the same time while walking to the stage. Ferncloud spoke first "Probably because im so hot" a few laughs sounded from a few cats. Shadowpaw turned to Daisy "Daisy wh-". Daisy had run out a door with yet another tom. Shadowpaw sighed

"Her final question is for the dark-forest-cats" Tigerstar and Darkstripe jumped onto the stage. "She wants to know if she can have your autographs". Tigerstar grasped the microphone "Ofcourse you can!" Darkstripe added, "Meet us by that one dying tree... Tigerstar will be there".

Shadowpaw rolled her eyes. "Our next question is from ShadowCat98 to Firestar" Firestar stepped onto the stage. "Her statement is YOU HAD GRANDKIDS!". Firestar sighed and looked at the crowd. "Yes I had grandkids why is that so hard to believe!" Firestar sat back on the stage steps.

Shadowpaw looked at the card again "The next question is for...me!" "It reads...Are you on crack I thought you were a wolf!" Shadowpaw hissed. "I AM NOT ON CRACK, I MAY OF HAD A LITTLE CATNIP AND NO AS YOU CAN SEE I AM NOT A WOLF!" Hazelpaw took the microphone from Shadowpaw before she broke it and read off the next question.

"Now she wants to ask the Starclan cats 'whats starclan like'" Hazelpaw handed the microphone to Stonefur "Starclan is awesome, you don't get hungry and- and its just great!" Stonefur handed the microphone back to Hazelpaw. "And I guess she has a shout-out 'KITTY KITTY MEOW MEOW'" a few cats gasped Feathertail looked up "How dare she say that!"

Hazelpaw quickly read off the next person to ask some questions. "Ne-next is from Randomcats and they have a question for...Firestar" Firestar stalked back onto the stage and asked for the question. "Why are you the worst cat in the book" Hazelpaw coughed to keep from laughing and handed the microphone to the fiery tom.

"I AM NOT THE WORST CAT IN THE BOOK, JEEZ STOP BUGGING ME!" Firestar ran into the crowd and out the back door. Shadowpaw took back the microphone. "Next is for Hawkfrost and Jayfeather!" Hawkfrost and Jayfeather stood and walked side-by-side to the stage "They want to know...'Why are you so awesome?" Hawkfrost answered first "Why am I awesome" he winked at the she~cats "Because im Hawkfrost!" Shadowpaw handed the microphone to Jayfeather.

"Why am I awesome well I think its because-" Shadowpaw picked him up and held him in her paws "Because your mine!" Jayfeather struggled but Shadowpaw held him tight while talking into the microphone. "Now's Hazelpaw's question" Shadowpaw said nuzzling Jayfeather as she handed the the microphone to her friend. "Who's your mentor" Hazelpaw read out-loud. " Dustpelt" she nodded.

Shadowpaw grabbed the microphone back while still holding Jayfeather "Next is for me...'What clan are you in' I am in Iceclan" Shadowpaw looked at Jayfeather "Maybe I should take him with me" Jayfeather struggled some more "NEVER!" he shouted.

Shadowpaw and Hazelpaw spoke into the microphone at the same time "Ask more question for our next Ask Hazelpaw!".

"Help me" Jayfeather whispered as Shadowpaw carried him off the stage.

**Thanks for reading, ask more questions for chapter 3 and don't lay off Firestar it's hilarious Thankies ~Shadow**


	3. Chapter 3

**I am sorry for not working on this sooner!**

**"**Hello and welcome to our second addition to Ask Hazlepaw!" Shadowpaw scans the crowd of cats. "She couldn't be here today for she's sick with a fever so I'm going to be hosting with Jayfeather tonight!" Having been named the tom looked up as though he could see. "Oh...hi" He murmured beside Shadowpaw.

Shadowpaw entwined her tail with his. "Our first question is from Rox and she wants to know Firestar can you just fall off a cliff and die already? Your older than dirt!" Firestar stomped onto the stage. "First of all Rox is it? Is it possible that you formed a little crush on me" he chuckled. "Now for your question no I cannot just fall off a cliff and die for I have a clan to lead!"

Shadowpaw blinked by his reasonable answer as she received the microphone. "Next she wants to know Jayfeather do you love your stick? Or possibly Willowshine?" Jayfeather spoke calmly into the device. "No to both of them because if I love anyone else but Shadowpaw, even if it is against my will, I'm afraid she'll set fire to the forest there for burning my precious stick and Willowshine". "Okay?...Now.. she wants to hear from Thornclaw and her question is will you ever get a mate?"

Thornclaw pounced onto the stage grasping the microphone. "You can't tie me down! I have a lot of love to give! And if that means having several wives so be it!" Shadowpaw looked at him with deadpan eyes. "Eh okay I don't know how to respond to that" She blinked.

"Hm anyway next is SocksAreSuperCool and they want to know Firestar are you sure that prophecy wasn't about Flametail cause you suck" Firestar, apparently not surprised by his question speaks. "Yes I'm sure that prophecy wasn't about Flametail and thank you I appreciate that you took extra time to notify me on that". Shadowpaw restrained from smacking him over the ears claws unsheathed.

"Tigerstar you have kittypet blood! I looked this up and it's true!" Shadowpaw mewed to the gathering of cats. Tigerstar looked at Scourge who nodded and raked his claws through his stomach. Shadowpaw coughed and looked over the crowd. "And that's how Tigerstar really died!"

A few mrrow's of laughter came from Firestar, Gorsepaw, and Jayfeather. "Alright Spottedleaf will you be happy when Firestar comes to Starclan?" The former medicine-cat of Thunderclan raised her head and padded to the stage. "Well, yes I suppose I'll be happy but the same rules apply to us medicine-cats even if we are in Starclan".

"Lets see..okay her final question is for Sandstorm which clan would you be in if Thunderclan wasn't real?" Shadowpaw asked passing the microphone to the pale she-cat. "I think if Thunderclan wasn't real I'd be in Riverclan".

Shadowpaw her black fur ruffled by the cold air read off the next question. "ShadowCat98 wants to speak to Firestar, I didn't mean my question like that hell I didn't even know you had kids til I accidently checked out the wrong book from the library. Don't listen to them people rippin on ya they're just jealous because you're a kittypet and are awesomer than they are. And to the Starclanners does Starclan have cupcakes, pizza, skittles, or pepsi?". Firestar nodded happily and Bluestar stood and spoke for everyone to hear.

"Now ShadowCat Im sorry to confirm that Starclan doesn't have any of those items" She sat down again. "And that concludes this Ask Hazelpaw! Goodnight everyone!" Shadowpaw mewed and took Jayfeather out the stage exit.


End file.
